I got an email today which I found really amusing and would love to share it with everyone. It goes like this:

A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jeweler applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Woman
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
Tech Support Reply,
DEAR DESPERATE Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.htmland try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jeweler 2.0Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7..0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 under any circumstances (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Tech Support

Okay, my house owner just moved out and a new one came in. The old one removed the phone line and the new tenants said that they already have a phone line so they want to move it to the new house. SO in the midst of this twitched case, I am the one who suffered. Now, I pushed the new tenant real hard to move the phone line ASAP so I can go online. He kept telling me that he did, but the TMNet guys never came. One day, out of rage, I called them up myself and even the call centre guys told me that there have been already 4 reports regarding the same case (then why the fuck are you guys not coming?).

I couldnt wait any longer, but I kept patience and let them do their job. But 8 weeks guys!! Fuckin 8 weeks! No answer yet! Its just moving a phone line! I was planning to get their 4MB package, but hell! No more! My friend Collin got himself the 400kbps P1 W1max. I didnt had much faith in it coz I hardly trust wireless broadbands. I’ve tried Celcom and Maxis and both had disastrous results. There I was, sitting alone one day, doing nothing – yeah, no internet still. I decided to go to Collin’s house and just give Wimax a shot. While I was driving down to his house, I set my mind to think “its just 400kbps, don’t expect too much out of it”. There I was, at his house with my laptop. I plugged the LAN cable attached to the Wimax modem, and within a minute, the connection was automatically established.

I opened google (praise your god before surfing..lol..) and the holy google-god loaded in 1 second..duh..why am i not surprised? Even the worst connection – which happens to be Maxis, loads google pretty fast..I have a list of several pages comprising of flash, PHP, XHTML and ASP integrated with Javascript to test for internet connections. ANd guess what? Wimax really did a good job! For a 400kbps, that’s very fast!

Long story made short, I went down to Wimax booth and ordered my package. I took the 1.2MBps package which instantly got activated within an hour. The speed? Amazing! If I ever knew Wimax was this fast, I would’ve fucked streamyx long ago. Now I regret I even waited for 8 weeks for a stupid phone line transfer.

Now, you would have heard about the downloading cap they have on Wimax? Yes they do have it. Once u reach a certain quota, it will reduce 20% of your speed. I am in total support of this. To those who are crazy downloaders, they deservce this. Because of this bandwidth sucking mutherfuckers, the whole area gets slower broadband, and it is not fair to those who need speed to surf and do work (like me). So the downlaoders still can download. They will still get what they are downloading – but just slightly later. So, to me, Wimax stands out of all the broadband providers so far – and congrats to them, they won my wireless broadband confidence back :)

CHEERS!!~

To all of our Buddhist readers out there, Shahz and I wish you a Happy Chinese New Year! Have a prosperous and awesome new year! Don’t forget to save some angpau for us!! God speed and god bless!! :-)

Regards,
Angel Lucifer

Israel, Palestine, Hamas, the terrorist and the Jews are the most talk about topic around the world lately. The death toll, the missiles, the gunshots and the invasion is sickening. And yes, there is nothing that we can do about it. That’s the most frustrating part about it! Over 50 years the ridiculous was has been going on and yet nothing has been done.

Nation leaders all over the world is condemning Israel over the attack but talking is not enough as time is critical right now. This is not about religion, this is not about the holy land and this is not certainly about pride anymore! This is about capitalism. Before I go deeper in that, bare in mind that Zionism is not Judaism. Judaism is the way of life! Just like Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and so forth, their main idea of it is to create harmony and unity among humanity. Zionism is an idea or a political movement that has been brought to the public from the government.

I am not trying to pick a side here but this has been a long and bias war. Some people said that Obama is going to make a change over this issues and I choose to believe that nothing will be done. Since the first president of America was elected, their opinion over Israel and Zionism has always been the same. What makes you think that another American president with different skin pigmentation will lead their country in a different way? No! Their idea is still the same. Just to prove on it, they are currently sending a ship that carries 300 tonnes of missiles to Israel as we speak.

What is happening to this world? Would the war ends once the Zionist conquered the West Bank? Would it end there or they are going to expand their conquest to Iran and Syria and create a new World War 3? It’s all up to you to spread the world against Zionism because like I said earlier, Judaism is not Zionism. Westside or Eastside? It’s your pick because for me, it’s West Bank for life…

Regards,
Angel “H” Lucifer

To those who have been following my upload music to friendster and could not display the flash on your friendster, you will have to disable safe mode. To do this, login to your friendster account, at the top right, u will see a link to “settings”. Click this, and find an option “safe mode” and select NO. Save your profile, and try again. That will do the trick :) Cheers~

If there was a religion for geeks, if there was a brand for technology, if there internet was human and there would be a god for it, it would definitely be Google! The internet’s biggest giant has made a little change which has caught my attention pretty fast – change their favicon.

To those who dont know what is a favicon? Favicon is the little icon you can see near the address of the site you have visited. Its pretty simple to make one if you need it. Just add this code before your tag in your website and you will have it there:

Of course, you have to place the image favicon.ico accordingly relative to your page too in order for it to display. Now, if you are a Firefox user (I’m not..Browser god is Opera for me), you can get an animated one too..Just google for favicon and you will get what you need :) Simple eh? Cheers~

shahz

If god listens to metal, he would listen to All That Remains. Born in 1998 in the town of Springfield, Massachusets in America, this melodic death metal is lead by Philip Labonte. Labonte who was one the lead singer of the band Shadows Fall is not leading the band with his powerful yet clean vocal.

Discography

2002: Behind Silence and Solitude
2004: This Darkened Heart
2006: The Fall of Ideal
2008: Overcome

Band Members

Philip Labonte – vocals
Mike Martin – guitar
Oli Herbert – guitar
Jeanne Sagan – bass
Jason Costa – drums

Style
If fast drums beats and crazy guitar solo is you type, this band is totally worth checking out. With Labonte’s Lamb of God mix with Darkest Hour vocal style, it creates a perfect blend for eternal damnation. Personally I think that their music will suit any metal lovers out there because if technicallity and melody is what you looking for, this is the band that will not let you down. And as for usual, before I leave, here is one of my favourite song from them and it is called Chiron.

Chiron on YouTube

Regards,
Angel “H” Lucifer

I was designing a Wordpress theme today. I’ve joint ventured with a great designer and we’re starting up ThemesCrunch.com which will be launching anytime soon. That’s a story I’m keeping for another day. Lets talk about the topic that got you here first.

If you found this post via google search, its likely you already know about the holly hack which uses star html code to fix a jog in IE7 browsers. Here is an example. You have a floating div which is drifted 3 pixels to the top. The normal code would be:

.boxclass {
margin: 0px;
padding: 0px;
border: 1px solid #fff;
width: 300px;
height: 300px; /* We want to change this to 303px to make the box look fine in IE */
}

So we used to apply the holly hack which would be:
.boxclass {
margin: 0px;
padding: 0px;
border: 1px solid #fff;
width: 300px;
height: 300px; /* We want to change this to 303px to make the box look fine in IE */
}
* html .boxclass {
height: 303px;
}

The extended code AFTER the main element will override the actual code and fix the problem. BUT! This was just until Microsoft fixed the hack as stated by PositionIsEverything. No wonder it was not working for me as I was coding my design. I was thinking of bypassing it using the conditional comments and make a hack using a separate CSS file using the following code:

but I felt like playing around with the CSS a little bit more. And guess what? I found another fix for this. Believe me, its very simple! Lets say we have the first code in this post as the actual code and we want to add extra 3 pixels to the height property. What do we do? Trust me, you will laugh at this one.

.boxclass {
height: 303px; /* Add this element that you want to change */
}; /* and add this semicolon at the end AFTER the element closure. The shahz hack! muahaha */

.boxclass {
margin: 0px;
padding: 0px;
border: 1px solid #fff;
width: 300px;
height: 300px; /* This will only be used by non-IE browsers */
}

That’s it..The problem is fixed..The thing that you need to keep in mind is, the IE tag must always be ABOVE the actual code..What I have seen is that IE bypasses the code after the semicolon but this is not the case for the other browsers..I’ve tested on Opera 9.6 and FireFox 3 which is not affected at all. Try it out. If you want to discuss it, please do so in the comments box. I love exchanging opinions and ideas :)

Regards,
shahz

Need a little management course? It’s pretty simple. Read on.

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.

‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep
your mouth shut!

Enjoy!~

Goodbye 2008, welcome 2009!

Another year flew by the wind.  Time passes by. We get a year older. We are closer to death, and further from birth. Sins are increasing. Petrol price is decreasing. PM is changing. So on and so forth. Its been an interesting year for me at least I would say. Much have happened, but my blogging has really dropped. New plans are made, and I believe 2009 will be an even better year for me hopefully. To those who have always been reading my blog for lookups and references, thank you very much. I will try my best to increase my blogging rate this year. For now, Happy New Year and cheers from me!